Online ADD Tests

(I wrote this awhile ago, but not surprisingly, I kind of got distracted and forgot to post it...)

I am a hypochondriac, and I decided last night that I must have ADD, so I looked up some tests online. In the middle of taking one of them, I got distracted by a scab on my face and picked it. Annoyed by my inability to leave my poor, broken out face alone, I got up off the couch and headed into the bathroom to survey the damage. After inspecting my face for a few moments, I put a little make-up on it (the husband being out of town is no excuse to let oneself go!) before leaving the bathroom. On my way back to the living room, I got an unstoppable craving for frozen cherries, so I diverted myself again, this time to the kitchen where I got my little bowl of cherries and went back to the couch. After about two and a half more minutes of researching ADD, I typed “www” into my address bar to see which of my favorite sites popped up. I saw Hulu and remembered hearing something about the season premiere of Community (which is one of the funniest shows in all history) on the radio. So I opened it up and got the show ready to play before thinking, “Do I really want to interrupt what I’m doing for thirty minutes?” Sometimes I’m delusional about how much I’m really getting done. So I decided to change my facebook status to something about how ridiculously distractible I am. Upon reaching Facebook, I saw I had a message from Miss Bailey (side note: at this point in writing this, I checked to see if she had replied to the response I sent her). I found it rather humorous that I was distracted on my way to sharing with the world how easily I am distracted, so I decided the whole topic merited a blog post instead of just a facebook update. And Brian always wonders why I’m so exhausted.

I think that’s the real point of ADD tests, especially online ADD tests. If you can make it through the tests, you win! No ADD. Instead of having questions that are applicable to ADD symptoms, they should just have a bunch of questions like, “What is your favorite kind of dinosaur?” and “Would you rather face a zombie invasion or a vampire invasion?” If you are inactive on the page for more than five minutes, a window pops up with a number to a local mental health clinic. The only problem is that those questions are fun. It’d be easy to finish a test like that, regardless of your ADD status. So they’d have to be lame questions like, “What is the square root of 31” and “What is a zeitgeist?” I’d be happy to write a test like that, but I’d get distracted.




(Oh hey! I forgot I had Community all ready to play!)